Freakscene

I’ve found myself back at this place again. I don’t have any friends. I know people will now appear with “I’m your friend!” and “what? Don’t I count?” so maybe I should clarify it a bit. I have no really close friends, no best friend. Not any more.

All I really have are a bunch of acquaintances, people I see in pubs and occasionally meet on their terms. I can’t just call someone up and say “hey! fancy a drink?” because no-one ever does. Everyone has lives of their own. I don’t feature in anyone’s but my own.

I really miss having someone there that would drop everything to make sure I’m OK. Someone that would stand up for me. Someone I could turn to. I just don’t have that any more. And I haven’t had that for almost 10 years now.

I feel very alone.

I should probably just quit whining and deal with it. But I just can’t see how I can be happy if the rest of my life is meant to be so alone.